


It Wouldn't Be You

by DestinyFreeReally



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5140943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyFreeReally/pseuds/DestinyFreeReally
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is probably the closest I'll ever get to writing Vamp!Buffy...An alternate reality where a weird-domestic Spuffy lives and could have a conversation like this. Maybe a season-ten esque relationship I don't know. ..As is always true, I own nothing, anything publicly recognizable belongs to it's actual owner. No infringement intended. Quick romancey one-shot cause I like turning my own eyes into goo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Wouldn't Be You

  
     "Have you ever thought about it? What would happen if...you could ever turn me? You can't, by the way, you couldnt' so..no bad ideas. I'm positive the universe makes Slayer-blood like...demon-infection-resistant-y or something.  _What_ ? That sounds like it should be a thing. But did you ever, you know, think about it?" Buffy didn't even know what made her ask. No matter how he answered she was pretty sure it'd make her want to hit him. But the thought had occurred to her a few nights ago, so now they were alone, cozy and lazy on the back porch, she figured why not.  _Worst comes to worst, could always punch him._   


     

      _Ever thought about it? Bloody wet dreamed about. Emphasis on the bloody._  He bit back that answer as soon as it came to the front of his mind. Of course he'd thought about it. When he'd wanted to hurt her. Long ago. Seemed like ages. When he had wanted to hurt her the  _most_  he'd thought about it. He knew Slayers before, but Buffy was the first he'd tried to understand.  _Nice plan, mate._  Buffy was strong, yet delicate. Headstrong, but could be uncertain. Steadfast, with sprinkled moments of sincere vulnerability. She was the Slayer. Spike had seen the years it had taken Buffy to not only take up that mantle with duty, but to take it up with pride. Knowing her, understanding her, led him to believe that it was the  _Buffy_ in her blood, the _Summers,_ not the Slayer, that would protect her from personally experiencing demonhood. When he'd thought about turning her, it had been to take away her identity. To hurt her the most. To rip away her sense of self. Her sense of Buffy.  
  
     "It wouldn't be you, love." Was all he offered to her, realizing she'd been leaning against him in silence for more than a few minutes.   
  
     "You're always the one with the inisisting demons form attachment to their more-human counterparts." Buffy knew she saw the weird human parts of him, sometimes. He had the animal sense of a killer, of a hunter, and he assumed that role with all the pride of a successful predator. But he had a lot of him that functioned almost like a human. His heart, she thought of first.  _Well, without the exact beating of it._  The animal sense of his killer sometimes ran it self raw by emotion. He shed tears, he felt empathy. He  _felt_  at all. Buffy had struggled with that, for awhile. But understanding some of that, the weirdness of Spike, made her even more curious about his thoughts of her personality as a vampire.  
  
     "They can, and they do. With my luck, if I turned you I'd be all set with your bossy bint ways and none of your sunshine. Come on love, let's step off it. Not gonna happen like that, you know." Pulling his mouth into a small smile at her, he still barely met her eyes. Her eyes.  _Wouldn't do to have 'em glow yellow. They glow enough as they are. Hazel and full of life. That's all._ Buffy was still staring up at his jaw from her position, waiting for him to finish his thoughts.  _Bossy._  "Slayer...pet, in my day dreams,  _evil_  day dreams of turning you, it was all from a place of big nasty. How if I did it, I'd finally be able to wrack your nature, dirty your white hat. How deeply satisfying it'd be to have the rats in the Watchers' Council  _watch_  a Vamp Slayer turned  Vamp. It wouldn't be you, love. It wouldn't be Buffy. My thoughts on it, anyway. Satisfied, yet, love?" He finally looked to her, her face, well....pale.   
  
     "God, you  _were_  evil. Guess I'm glad you couldn't ever actually out-smart me or out-fight me or out-do me. Could've been gross. I'm pretty sure I don't have the forehead for lumpies." She shook the chill away from her; his answer had been the one she'd asked for, after all. Even if it was kind of sickening in hindsight.  _Bored Buffy sticks foot in mouth, headline reads.  
  
     _"Oh please, I could at least certainly out- _do_  you, love." His eyes shone proud of that one. "And you'd be one of the vamps who's bark was worse than their bite, I'm almost sure of that. Not enough wicked in you, pet. Not even on your worst morning,  _after_  Dawn's finished the juice." Spike watched her color return, her comfort return.  _Always asking questions you don't want proper answers to._  But he'd been honest, and they were fine. She hadn't even punched him, once. Hadn't even put space between their bodies. 'Weird' as she liked to coin him, having her trust him without necessity still felt kind of 'weird,' to him.   
  
     "You're still  a pig, even if you're the less-evil variety. Good. I'm real bad at change." She stuck her pink tongue out at him, and he jokingly chomped his teeth at it, before landing a hard kiss to her mouth. She broke away what he considered  _all_  too soon. "Plus, that's not even fair, I'm a  _Slayer_  I can't be expected to be a bright-eyed bunny or whatever at breakfast. I don't think we're wired to be morning people."  
  
     Maybe in his weak moments, he let himself think of forever with her. How that could be...arranged. But he thought of her forbidden from the sun, from her Scoobies, turned against herself as something she might hate, and he forbid it from his mind. Forever with her  _like that...._ _It wouldn't be her. It wouldn't be her._


End file.
